He is not real, and yet he aches within your heart at every living moment.
There are times when you can feel him, his sweater brushing up against your back, his hands clasped with yours, his lips brushing up against your cheeks- but he’s not there.
You wonder if those theories about multiple universes are true. You wonder if, just by a slight chance, you missed out on your dream world. A world where you grew up together. One where you were enemies but found love. By some twisted turn of fate, you exist in the world, and so does he, but he is merely fictional. Even stil, you can feel his presence floating around you.
He kisses your neck when you need him, you can feel his weight on your lap. He holds your hand and neatly folds into your pocket, where you rub his back and embrace him. He lounges around your home like a spirit, endlessly following you into oblivion. His hot breath spills down your body and you shiver, his small yet strong hands grip your heart and tug on it until your face turns bright pink and you can’t help but spill.
Doppio watches you through your bookshelves. He’s the little light that flickers in your computer. The last perfect gulp of water. The rainbow that peeks out thru the clouds during a hurricane. The shooting star that passes by the moon when you think the shower is over. A satisfying lick of vanilla cupcake batter off of an old wooden spoon.
Over time, you realise how much you hate the word yearn. You are yearning for him.
Your dad screams at you to go to your room and in there you sit, lonesome. An attempt to go on your phone shows that the wifi has been shut off. Your switch is out of battery and there is nothing to write. You shut off the light in your room and cuddle under the blankets, warm and cozy in your own soft nest.
Meanwhile, he wafts through the air. A small ball of pink energy, gentle and constant. It leaves a trace amount of glitter, just enough for you to see. It glimmers in the moonlight that threads through your blinds, stardust on a bland, unswept floor. You can see the faint light through your blankets, and you slowly move the sheets, just enough so he can enter, and no one else can see.
He begins to slowly enter your body, with each breath you take, you can feel the energy absorb into your being more and more. It fills your innards with a pink light, glitter spreading through your bloodstream. A quick look at your wrists shows sparkles, somehow illuminated in the darkness of your handmade cavern. Despite the odd situation, it feels quite pleasurable, small hints of embarrassment hitting your cheeks, your eyes flutter shut and you take a moment to inhale and appreciate your breath.
It is in these moments when you can feel true comfort and relaxation.
Eventually, the small ball of light travels up through your spine to your brain, wrapping soft and warm tendrils around it, until the mushy organ is bright pink and cute. It feels warm, it feels welcome, you can’t stop a smile forming on your lips. Each breath you take feels like sprinkles filling your lungs, of course in the most pleasant way possible.
Not out of your own fruition, your mouth opens, and he slips out, leaving the taste of a perfectly brewed mocha on your tongue. You slip the blankets open a bit so he can leave, and watch him as he makes way to your bathroom.
You sit on your bed for a moment, not in awe of what happened, but more processing everything around you that suddenly hit. You can hear your bathroom door slowly creak shut. Standing up and letting the blankets fall down on the floor, you begin to disrobe. Each curve and scar and pimple is available to the stuffy air that inhabits your room.
You open the door to the bathroom and see him there waiting for you. A weight that you didn't know existed was lifted off of your shoulders as you eye him, up and down. He’s fully there now, boyish body opposite yours, pink locks combed back into a cute braid. You resist the urge to kiss him now, but it must wait for another few seconds.
Just wait. He speaks, lips unmoving. His head tilts and with it, that little flick of hair jiggles. Just a few more seconds.
You close the toilet lid and sit on it while he opens the shower curtains, perfect hands twisting the knobs of the shower just right. You spend this time looking at your body. Something feels incomplete. You squish the fat around your stomach and look at the stretch marks, then your breasts. You cup them in your hands and gently squeeze them for no particular reason.
By the time you’ve given three squeezes, he’s finished preparing the tub and your eyes meet with his. He smiles once more, tilts his head and extends his hand. You take it, and he leads you into your shower.
You blink once and his clothes are gone, but when you look in between his legs, you see nothing. He’s kneeling at your feet, bar of soap in hand, washing your body. His lashes are fluttered shut, a small smile on his face.
He rubs the bar of soap on you, up to your hips, where he then stops. He lets go of the soap, letting it fall against your rear. Doppio wraps his arms around your hips and kisses your stomach, resting his head against your skin. He looks up at you, brown eyes staring at you with complete adoration. His head starts to sink a bit lower, and as you stare at him, you realize where his mind is going.
And of course, you silently accept it.
He steps back a bit and you position yourself against a wall, holding your foot up, exposing yourself to him fully. Doppio comes in, grabbing your thighs with both of his hands to support himself (and you) before dipping inwards, lapping his tongue up against your pussy. It feels electric, each brush up against your clit feeling like a thousand beautiful shockwaves floating through your body.
Warm water covers your body, you lean back into the corner of the shower as Doppio holds you, moving his head from your parts to kiss your thighs, looking up at you with his sweet amber eyes. He takes a moment to kiss your them, rubbing his head up against your legs before going back in.
You sigh out into the steamy air, moving one hand from the shower wall to Doppio’s head, playing with his silky soft pink hair. You can tell he wants to go all out, but he’s being so gentle for you, licking and prodding his tongue around you, drinking in your essence. By the time you put your hand back up against the wall his fingers are starting to push into you, him looking at you with eager eyes. You nod, give him a brief smile and relax as his fingers enter into your body.
It feels beyond good, it feels perfect, and when he starts to move them in and out of you, you feel so content. They curl inside of you, filling you up with red hot love. You want to call his name out, but you know that you can’t right now.
He’s working diligently on your body now, eyes closed, tongue flicking your clit, your legs squirming around. With the one hand that he’s not using to finger you with, he has to use to hold down your left leg with. You’re starting to grind into his mouth now, he’s holding on tight to you as your mouth starts to slowly fall ajar.
His fingers slip out of you and he moves his head from your body to llick your cum off of his fingers, before diving back in, holding on your body nice and tight. Hot water falls down your chest, you can feel your thighs quaking around his head. Your toes curl hard, you bite your lip and your head begins to slip backwards, the ropes in your stomach are soon to snap.
Doppio’s mouth wraps around your clit and he licks at it, your leg is twitching hard now, you can’t even hold it in anymore. Your body convulses with an orgasm, ripping through your body, a hot pink aura flashing through you, you know it even though your eyes are closed. You can feel him grabbing your legs, his face still buried between your thighs, holding you through your orgasm.
Pink essence flows through your body, from your head to your toes.
And just when you want to see him one last time, he’s gone. The only thing that remains of him is the smell of a freshly made coffee cake wafting through the shower.
Cleaning yourself up, you wash your body and cover yourself in a towel. As you put on a loose shirt, a small tingle bubbles through you. You lay on your bed and cover yourself with a blanket and try to close your eyes. You try to forget about the magic that you’ve just experienced, but you can’t.
He is not real, and yet he aches within your heart at every living moment.